Thursday, November 20, 2008

home

So... this word is a crazy mixed up business. The more life I live the more it gets mixed up. There were days when I knew where my home was, even if it did change from time to time. It was one place. I have lived with family, friends, acquaintances, and my wife. All have been homes. Sometimes home was what ever place I was, and others, the place I was not. Home seems less and less a specific location as I get older. However, I am about to purchase my first house. I have very little attachment to this property today, but Monday it will be the single biggest item I have ever put money toward. It will still not be my home. I will put all my other belongings in it. Still not my home. My Family will live there. That might do it, but I'm not sure. Home is an odd place/idea.
I hear "this is not my home." I'm seeing more truth to that than ever. Maybe the more homes you have the more you see yourself as a citizen of another kingdom altogether. I'm strange, and I look forward to my alien homecoming.

2 comments:

Nicholas Lamar. said...

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone. You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

While I love this line and see a magnitude of truth in it, it is refreshing to know that home is not simply an imaginary place though it may be an outer-worldly place. Home is something that takes quite a bit to settle in for me. I have had a few places that sort of felt like home. My dog house dungeon in Bolivar was the only place that has truly been my full home. Maybe it's the unconditional love and acceptance that did it for me. I don't know, but I am looking forward to creating a home for my future wife and me.

I am excited for your endeavor and am praying for you. I love you dude. Good post.

TS said...

Where the home is...the heart is
Where the home is...the heart is
We just like being here with you
-lyrics from a song by two guys who were doing a concert in someone's backyard